10-10-220

Summer is going by way too quickly.

The family is now home, things are back to thier usual chaotic pace. I wish Kamela were a happier woman...she's always so stressed out.

Work time...blech.

"Listen to your heart...hear it calling for you. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do. I don't knwow where you're going, and I don't know why. Listen to your heart, before you tell it goodbye..."

On the way to work yesterday, the Seattle Police Department had blocked off all the streets. I stopped and asked a cute US Marshall holding a machine gun what was going on. He told me 'they're shooting a movie.' Being the naive lil fag that I am I became excited and burst into my office with this news. 'Ouisie said 'they better no be shooting anything at the courthouse.' She informed me that some foreign terrorist is being sentenced there today. Dam Us Marshall....

Happy Monday

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY

the family is home

Laura & Rory are home

i just watched a fantastic film called 'Callas Forever'...Maria Callas is fabulous!

***************HAPPINESS******************

Potential History

Years ago...god, it feels like a lifetime away. I had missed an opportunity.

Three of my best girlfriends and I were at the movie theatres..I believe we were going to see some chick flick or something...

Anyway, we were standing in line to get out tickets, and there was this guy ahead of us. He was also with a large group of girls but this I hadn't paid any attention to. In central Minnesota you usually just assume that as a gay teenager, you are the one and only of your kind.

He had color and a spark to him. His hair had just recently been dyed red and his brown eyes drew everything in. He was masculine in all the ways necessary, and gentle in all the ways necessary, and I totally blew him off.

'Hey, aren't you in Boy Scouts?' he asked.

'Um, yea.'

'I thought I've seen you around at a camporee or something..'

'Um, I don't think so, I don't recognize you.'

With a dejected look he turns back to his friends, I to mine and we get our tickets for the show. Kristina, a spunky thing with a loud mouth and kind heart, pulled me down to her height and whispered agressively--> 'Dammit Dave he was flirting with you! He was hot and interested in you and blew him off!'

Eh well..I missed my chance. We saw the movie, which of course was mindlessly entertaining. On the way out...he was standing at the entrance, his movie had gotten out earlier, all his friends were no where to be seen...the shy nervous side of me took control and just walked past him not makign eye contact.

*sigh*...if only

Lonesome

This weekend was vaguely sordid and lonely.

The family is in Idaho and Laura and Rory are gone camping on the Olympic Peninsula. Friday evening Shaina came and rescued me. We went and shot pool at 'The Garage' over on the hetero end of Broadway. It was interesting. We came back and wrote a pact on 'the holy quesadilla box' that by August 5th we'd both at least approach a guy we've been eyeing for weeks now and ask him for a date. I then fell asleep watching 'The Prisoner of Azkaban.'

Yesterday I ended up sleeping until 1pm. By 2pm I found myself sitting across from the lovely Casey from Bellingham at the 'Rusty Pelican' up on 45th. Casey is a fantastic fellow. He plays the piano and viola well enough to make me swoon. He's very intelligent, cute, and he grew up in Wisconsin. As a native Minnesotan, he'd usually be my mortal enemy, but we both got the hell out of dodge and transplanted to western Washington. We parted ways hopefully to meet again. He had to leave for a birthday party.

I then walked to the video store and also made a visit to the grocery store. I purchased a $60 bottle of wine and made myself a wonderful lamb dinner. I then indulged myself in a sappy gay romantic comedy called 'the Trip.' It is now nearing 10am on Sunday and I am faced with a day filled with housecleaning and yardwork. My puppy Tico also needs a bath sometime before the day ends.

Well there you have it..the emotionless details of a boring weekend.

weirdness

i am enamored with the cute receptionist at work...he owns a home and a chow chow puppy

i'm not looking forward to this weekend, i'll be all alone in a big house...i don't do well alone, i don't sleep and i hardly eat anything

i wish i lived in the 70's...and found some intellectual hippie with long flowing feathered hair to fall in love with

in other news...Erykah Badhu is fantastic! i just listened to her Live album

Canine Caper

So..it's two hours since I last posted, and I have a major headache.

I was laying on the couch reading 'Magic's Promise', Mercedes Lackey's follow-up to 'Magic's Pawn' with teh beautiful and homosexual hero Vanyel Ashkevron. I dozed a little bit, woke up and decided that since it was a bit sunny and warm outside, my handsome lil puppy Tico probably would need more water. I went out back to greet him...and he was GONE!

I was freaking out. I enlisted Rory to help me find him and figure out the problem. We searched his area and couldn't see anywhere that he might have escaped by exploiting a crack or break in the fence. Rory thinks he might've jumped it...but I have my doubts. He is a 50lb Chow-chow/Shiba Inu mix that's 10 months old and is about 2 or 3 feet tall. Jumping really isnt his thing. I shouted for Tico and the lil guy came padding up to greet us thankfully...but I don't trust him outside anymore today and am keeping him in. I have suspicions that possibly a neighbor or some other sordid stranger came by and let him out.

He needs a bath and a brushing anyways.

Unsure

Today I decided to take a mental health day off from work.

Life is strange right now. The relationships with the people I live with, the people I work with, and those in the 'miscellaneous' category are all very dynamic and undecided. I used to be quite an irrational and impulsive person and to a certain degree I still am but something is missing. Emotionally amputated would be a way to describe it. I no longer allow myself to get angry much, or sad much, or happy much. I strive for a more visceral lifestyle. Thus, the title of my blog 'CrazyHappy' is wishful thinking I suppose.

Rusted Root is playing on the radio...the lead singer's voice has a way of tugging at my passions. Should I invite Mikeal over for dinner this evening? What will Laura and Rory think? While we're on a roll with questions, I'll just list others I have:

How much energy should I expend in satisfying Tim's desire to date me? He's old enough to be my father. He's a successful politician living in a gorgeous old house down in Tacoma, WA.

Mikeal is wonderful, but should I add him to my life? I have a tendency to 'collect' people and then discard them when I see a scratch, tear, or smudge.

The Carolinas I feel are still calling me, a new voice has spoken and I'm finding myself wanting to answer, is this sensible?

How can I convince my sister and her boyfriend to come live with me?

That's all for now...I'll try and be more cheerful later.